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Dating Russian Women

Introduction for Newbies

Preface

Having worked as a freelance translator since 1999, I can tell you that this subject is very popular. For some reason about half of my work is associated with it. Especially when it comes to interpreting. Most of my clients I interpret in person for are coming to meet some women. I do have other work: I translate a lot of technical texts, usually manuals for engines, machines and different equipment, but most of my activity is associated with dating in one way or another. This may be just interpreting or delivering flowers, arranging accommodation for a client who is coming to meet a woman, locating a woman and getting her contact details so as to bypass an agency, etc. Of course, there can be other activities like helping tourists who are here for entertainment and married long ago, finding relatives for genealogy research, business talks, marketing, etc. But this happens less often than helping foreigners interested in Ukrainian women. I cannot really say that I prefer and like this type of work or, on the contrary, dislike it and try to stay away from it; it is just my job and I never refuse a job if I feel I can fulfil it because money does not grow on trees and as long as it is not something illegal and the client looks serious and is not going to disappear without paying, I am there for him whatever they need.

Now for the clueless let me explain briefly what this fuss is all about. I am not sure what Western and, in particular, American women are like. My clients are telling me lots of stories and I can read more on the Internet about feminists, about women thinking only about themselves, not interested in a family and kids but only in the career, never trying to look attractive to men, etc. As I have never been to the USA it is hard for me to judge whether these are true accounts and the actual situation or experience of single biassed individuals with mental disorders. I have been to Europe though and was not impressed with the beauty of women there at all. In particular, when I was in Austria I only saw 1 (one) girl that I could have given a second look at home. But it is not clear if she was local, because I saw many Russians and Ukrainians there. All the other women I saw did not look attractive to me at all. The second really attractive woman I saw was in Venice. But she was a professional dancer in a band. Based on what my friends living overseas tell me American women are indeed less attractive than what I can see here in Odessa. Friends tell me that obesity is problem one. Ugly clothes is another problem. Selfishness is too. Years ago when I was in the university we had a meeting with American tourists. Again I must stress it was elderly married couples. In fact it was them who I heard praising our women first. They were fascinated with the girls that had seen in Odessa and described them as really stylish and cute. It was obvious that this was not something they were used to seeing. As for my clients who came specifically to meet women many of them looked like a kid in a candy store while walking in the street and seeing all the women there. Anyway, it seems like Ukrainian women are indeed very attractive; something that I could never deny living here.

Of course, your mileage can vary and if you live, let's say, in LA, or have traveled elsewhere, you may be used to seeing women like that. But I am talking about average American visitors. Anyway, I have to visit America yet to see with my own eyes and compare. But what I see and know here in Ukraine is convincing enough. Most of Ukrainian women:

Of course this does not apply to all women. But from my experience it is the majority that can be described like that. It is important to stress that it is more than looks. Not only do they look very attractive, they are also very good inside — usually. Me personally, I only got married at 31 and I feel happy.

Trying to Meet a Ukrainian Woman

The above may be a reason for some foreigners, especially Americans to start looking for a wife in Ukraine or, at least, try dating here. And this is where many problems arise. Usually a newbie searches the Net and ends up at FSU dating agencies (most of them call themselves marriage agencies though). The FSU stands for Former Soviet Union and is usually Ukraine or Russia. Ukraine is more attractive. Russia is still kind of hostile toward Westerners even though the cold war is over. Ukraine is more hospitable. You do not have to obtain a visa for Ukraine (unless you are coming for several months). Ukraine is safer and less xenophobic.

When you get to the web site of an agency like this you are stunned by striking photos of women. You can browse through thousands of profiles and they all look like models, have university degrees and write nice things that sound attractive to men. Obviously you are tempted to message some of them just out of curiosity. And you hear back instantly! What's more ladies may be the first to message you. You are fascinated. All of them are gorgeous! The only trouble is you have to pay to read each message but what does it matter…

To make a long story short this ends with nothing. I do not feel like telling the entire story. Just believe me that it is usually a scam. Most of the ladies are not remotely interested in you and usually have no idea who you are and that you actually exist. It is the agency employees who do the job of reading your messages and composing a response. You talk to the girl on the phone? So what? I once witnessed an agency manager talking on the phone to a customer with a translator pretending to be the woman he was corresponding with. Oh, you use videochat? I am not impressed. All she needs is to sit in front of the camera and her interpreter does the rest, and she gets a cut of what you pay for this service (which is very expensive). I would not mind sitting there and getting paid either! You come to Ukraine and meet this girl in person? Well, for a cut of the fee you pay to the agency she may spend some time with you. As you would be forced to have the agency translator with you, you can be sure that the woman would be 'aware' of everything you exchanged in your messages. Needless to say that this is all pointless. Of course you can play this game for a while if you believe it but if you think this would get you a wife for life you are terribly naive. Not to mention all the money wasted.

So what can you do instead? First of all, be in control of the situation; do not let the agency twist you. Then, do not accept any bullshit; be sober and reasonable. If you are 50 years old and a drop-dead cute 20 y.o. is messaging you, do not buy it. If something is way too good to be true then it most likely it is not true!!! Use the right head for thinking! If you are talking to a wonderful woman and she is ready to come to you from Ukraine and all she needs is some money for a visa and tickets, do not send her anything: come over to Ukraine and see her in her home town first.

However there is a big problem. Where can you meet genuine Ukrainian women interested in long-term sincere relationship?

There is a way.

Russian Dating Web Sites

Naturally, there are web sites for dating in Russian. They are quite popular in Russia and Ukraine. You can find literally millions of people there from the entire former Soviet Union and anywhere else. Most of the web sites are free. They do not monitor your correspondence so you can freely exchange contact details. There a few problems though. First, you need to speak Russian. Next, you will find that much, much fewer women would be interested in you in sharp contrast with dating agencies. The funny part about it is you might come across the same women there that you see in dating agencies. But this time they are much pickier and would not accept a man with the age difference more than five or ten years. Also, photos in the profiles are not so bright and attractive as above; no photoshop.

Is that bad? Well it depends on the viewpoint. If you like to live in a dreamworld this is certainly bad. If you prefer the reality it is much better. After all, you decide. You must realize the hard truth that when you go to a toll dating agency and get replies from any woman you approach this does not mean at all they are interested in you. They may not even know you. It is agency employees who do all the job of replying and talking to you. You may even have a long and interesting correspondence with them! The key is you pay for that so why not? All the actual woman needs to do is file her information and photos to the agency and they do the rest. You can even visit this woman and she will meet you and spend some time with you — however, you must use her interpreter who is the person you are actually talking to. And, as you continue to talk to this person, nothing changes in effect! But if you think that this is going to take you anywhere in terms of finding a life partner, a soulmate, you are grossly mistaken. Remember: it is a waste of time and money. And, if some people do manage to succeed, we have a saying: exceptions only confirm the rule. Yes, they succeed but there is 1% of them. Are you sure you would fit this one per cent and not 99%? You are? You are welcome to try but don’t say then I did not warn you.

If you are a reasonable person though you would use the approach that does not look so pretty but can take you somewhere. Namely local dating agencies that I mentioned above. This is a hard job. You must dedicate a lot of time to searching for women and communicating with them. You have to be prepared to most women ignoring you. And even if you manage to strike a conversation this can end any time and you have to move on. Therefore you need to message just any woman you see who fits your requirements! And go on looking all the time until you are talking to at least a score of them. This is not a problem as there are thousands of eligible women in every city and hundreds of thousands in Ukraine, I mean those registered in the dating site. All you need is to search which takes time.

Besides searching you must present yourself in the best way possible. This means you need to set up an attractive profile. I must stress that good photos are essential! If you only have one blurred picture taken by your telephone, forget about it. Just think: would you consider women’s profiles without photos? Would you be attracted by women whom you can hardly see? Women are not different! They also wish to see you and they are also attracted by your looks. Forget your experience with dating agencies where you would enjoy enormopus popularity regardless of your photos and if you actually have some. Here you are in the real world, not the phantasy land created by agencies. So, if you do not have good photos yet, contact a studio now!

If you are serious about it

What I Offer

If you know Russian well and can do this on your own, good for you. However, you need to know Russian much better than talking about simple things. You also need to know the culture and customs and be able to read between lines. This is why you want my assistance. What I do is:

Rates

* If traveling to another town is needed, the rate is different.

Other Dating Related Services

Extraction from Agency

Many agencies try to keep a tight grip on your correspondence with the woman, preventing you from exchanging contact details with your girl in order to keep you paying their high fees for reading letters. I can try to extract the girl from the agency, that is find a way to contact her directly, tell her about you and see if she wishes to talk to you outside of the agency. I need to know as much as possible about her: her full name (if available; first name would do too), city, age, photos. Of course, chances are better if she comes from Odessa but it does not matter much, I can contact her wherever she lives in Ukraine (providing she is a real person and not an agency fake). After you receive her contact information you are free to talk with her on your own using any means you have. You do not have to use my translation services.

The cost of this service is $30 plus costs if any, and if the search is successful, you pay another $30. The first $30 is non-refundable and I keep it in any case, whether I was able to trace her or not.

Dating Detective: Possible Scam or Professional Dater

If you, let’s suppose, correspond with a lady in Ukraine but are not sure she actually exists and/or cannot obtain her phone number due to the faulty policy of her agency (see above), or suspect she might be a scammer or professional dater, I can try to find out if she is for real. I need to know her full name and street address (but if you only know her full name this might be enough).

You may also need this service if you suspect she is not sincere even if you are sure she is a real person who you have talked to. I may meet her under a pretext, talk to her and see whether she does like you and knows something about you. I will tell you my impressions and recommendations whether it is worth to pursue her or it is going to be a waste of time and money. Of course, it cannot be 100% correct because I can err too but I have some experience and I can consult my wife who knows better about such issues. At any event, you decide based on the information I provide.

Reasons for giving up on a woman might be her being a professional dater (a woman who dates men but is not going to get married and only wants to have fun at their expense, expensive gifts, etc) or not serious (many women you find on dating sites are there out of curiosity but they did not make up their mind yet and are not sure if they want to emigrate; you do not want to be their testing ground), her being insincere (like concealing some sensitive things from you which can influence your decision to marry her), etc.

The cost of this service is $60 plus costs (if any substantial ones such as long-distance calls, flowers as an excuse to show up at an address) for Odessa ladies. For other towns my normal daily rates would apply as I have to travel.

Advice

Since I know the Russian and Ukrainian culture very well, I can consult you on many issues. By the way it is free, so do not hesitate to ask. We can use instant messaging, phone or Skype. See the contact page for details.

Other Services

My other services (translation of texts and correspondence, interpreting in person and on the phone, arranging accommodation and tours) are listed here: www.odessaguide.net/services.en.html

Payment

All the above rates are in US dollars but I prefer hryvnyas according to the actual exchange rate to the dollar, and I accept payment in euros: in cash, via Contact, Western Union, bank wire, WebMoney, Moneygram, etc.

Contact me for details.

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